


Worthwhile

by nicefinalbeam (sparkleboom)



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, M/M, Roommates, playful banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 23:39:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16983999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkleboom/pseuds/nicefinalbeam
Summary: Jun finds himself with a roommate rather than a soulmate, but forever is so close he can almost taste it. A dash of rivalry, unexpected roommates, and a meant-to-be kind of thing.





	Worthwhile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [semikusa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/semikusa/gifts).



> Originally posted at the [fishing-mj exchange](https://fishing-mj.dreamwidth.org/) for [semikusa](https://semikusa.dreamwidth.org).

He had been sitting at the edge of his bed for a good five minutes at least, simply breathing in the soft citrus and spice from the aromatherapy diffuser he'd received as a gift from Sho. It wasn't that he hated mornings, exactly, but more that it took time for all operations to come back online. His limbs moved awkwardly, his hair refused to cooperate with the brush, and no amount of yawns seemed able to remove the sleepiness from his eyes.

"Protein or coffee?" he mumbled in question to himself as he finally stood up and stretched.

It felt like a coffee morning. Quiet. Chilly. Nowhere to be until later in the afternoon when he had plans with friends. He closed his eyes as he thought about holding a warm mug in his hands and deeply inhaling that bold, roasted goodness.

Knowing he had to get moving or risk drifting off again where he stood, Jun opened his bedroom door with full determination to start the day.

And immediately began to regret that decision. Maybe if he went back to sleep he could pretend he was dreaming and not actually seeing what he was seeing.

"Jun-pon! Morning," Nino greeted him warmly, unabashedly wearing one of Jun's favorite shirts.

It hung loosely on his frame, almost cutely, but Jun couldn't acknowledge that when all he could focus on was the lack of permission he'd given.

"Before you lose your temper, remember you were angry with me when I was out here in only my boxer shorts. I'm being respectful," Nino defended himself, holding up his hands as if that would calm Jun down.

Jun remembered that incident all too well. As soon as he'd told Nino he viewed the lack of clothing as a desecration of their shared space, Nino had told him that Jun taking thirty-minute showers was a desecration of the water bill.

"And you thought I'd be more comfortable with you stealing my things?"

"Borrowing," Nino corrected, "It hasn't even left the apartment!"

"It won't. Because you're going to take it off," Jun responded.

He only held back from pulling it off Nino's person himself because his coordination was not to be trusted before that coffee made it into his system. Plus, he had more respect for boundaries than Nino apparently did.

"You're right, I will. As soon as my laundry's finished," Nino responded with a bright grin, "See? I had a reason. No clothes available."

Jun groaned and nudged his roommate out of the way.

"This is what they invented robes for," Jun grumbled.

"Would be a good option if I had one," Nino agreed, following a few steps behind Jun, "But judging by when your robe makes an appearance, I'd say they were invented for post-shower netflix binge sessions."

"That too," Jun conceded, pulling his water filter from the fridge. "But still. Could you at least ask me next time? I would have given you something else. Something less expensive."

Nino glanced down at the shirt he was wearing, then back up at Jun with a look of confusion.

"It's a t-shirt?"

"A designer t-shirt, Nino. It was at least a hundred dollars," Jun corrected.

"THAT'S EGREGIOUS," Nino complained loudly, "What the hell are you spending your money on!"

Jun chose to ignore him, heading for the coffee maker and preparing to brew a few extra cups than he'd initially planned. He'd had this conversation with Nino before. Fashion was an artistic expression of oneself as well as a statement to others, and a perfectly reasonable investment. Especially as, slowly but surely, you grew your collection and were able to mix and match pieces that never lost value and would never really be off trend.

Video games were what? A distraction from real life? The cost of three video games was more than Jun paid for cable in a month. Nino would be better off just watching tv if he was so concerned about cashflow!

"If you can't appreciate the t-shirt, you shouldn't be wearing it," Jun made his point again, keeping his eyes on measuring the coffee grounds. He already knew what Nino would do and he wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of watching it.

Right on cue, Nino lifted the t-shirt up and off his body with an annoyed grunt. Jun would at least give him credit for folding it before he dropped it on the kitchen table.

"You win. Dryer is almost done anyway, since I put the clothes in at a reasonable hour and someone was sleeping the whole time."

"I know you're used to living with Sho-san, who keeps a schedule more packed than the JR at rush hour and thinks a power nap is as good as a full night's sleep, but I'm not him. I like my beauty rest," Jun argued, pointing his measuring spoon at Nino, " And I'm your roommate now."

"Bad with money, lucky with company then," Nino responded with a wink.

 

 

It had started with the fantastic news that Sho was ready to spend the rest of his life with someone. A woman he'd been working with at the paper for a few weeks had stayed overtime one night and gotten close enough for Sho to inhale her scent and just _know_. They'd tried to take things slowly, but for someone impatient and stubborn as Sho, he saw no reason to delay the rest of his life with his soulmate. Fortunately, she'd agreed.

However, it had presented Sho with a problem. Only one month before this miracle had occurred, he'd agreed to split an apartment with his long-time friend Nino, and signed a lease with him for a year. Not the kind of person to leave his friend out in the cold, Sho had come to Jun begging for a favor.

A Nino-sized favor. One that gave Jun some extra rent money, sure, but had also completely flipped Jun's life upside down.

He may have had a spare bedroom available, but he was way out of practice with sharing his space. Jun and Nino had met several times before over drinks with their mutual friend, but living with him was completely different than the occasional pleasant conversation. It meant compromise, a little less privacy, and accepting that Nino would rather get takeout than help Jun with stocking the fridge.

Not to mention the commentary.

"Soon to be QG Man of the Year, Matsumoto Jun, stylist to the c-list stars, dressed like a million dollars if a million dollars looked like a glittery poodle... seems like he's popping a breath mint in preparation for his hot date," Nino narrated from his usual spot lazing on the sofa.

Jun rolled his eyes.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Jun told him, sticking out his tongue.

"Save that tongue for later, you rascal," Nino joked, stretching out his limbs. Jun only spared a small glance at the skin the man exposed in doing so, clearing his throat and looking down at his keys instead.

"You're going to head out yourself, right?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, as promised. Going to Aiba-chan's place tonight," Nino agreed, giving Jun a small salute, "Don't see why I can't just stay in my room with headphones on, but if you really think it'll get that loud."

Jun shook his head and laughed. Well, it was only his third date with Hiroto, and he honestly wasn't sure they'd make it back here at all. But in the event that they did, it would be nice to not imagine Nino on the other side of the wall. Something about it... Jun might have to deal with it someday, but he wasn't ready for that just yet.

"Don't be jealous," he teased right back, "I'll see you tomorrow."

When Nino waved, Jun waved back, still laughing as he headed out the door.

 

 

Jun could admit that while he was slow to win over, once he liked someone he didn't want to wait to show his affection. He enjoyed flirting, but he liked it even more when he could brush shoulders with someone. Maybe loosely take hold of their hand as they walked from the restaurant to the taxi. It didn't have to be much, just enough to show his attraction, and hopefully understand the other party's feelings in return.

Unfortunately, he eventually came to realize that this also made him pretty vulnerable. The closer he let someone get, the easier it was for them to determine whether he was for forever, or just for the night.

"I had a great time," Hiroto spoke.

Jun felt butterflies in his stomach as the man leaned in closer, tilting his head and starting to press closer as well. Jun was just about to shut his eyes and swoop in for the kill when Hiroto's hands gently pressed against his chest.

"You smell... I mean, you smell great. I'd love to know the cologne you're wearing? But I'm just uh... not looking for anything serious right now, you know?" the man seemed to babble, unable to look Jun in the eye.

Of course.

He hadn't smelled _right_. And that meant no matter how great a time he'd shown Hiroto tonight, Jun wasn't going to hear from him again.

"I get it," Jun said, forcing a smile as he lightly steered Hiroto toward the waiting taxi. It wasn't the first time he'd met someone looking for a serious relationship who suddenly wasn't after a few dates with him.

"It's Versace Eros, if you're actually curious," Jun added with a strained laugh, "But I doubt you are."

"Sorry, Matsumoto-kun," Hiroto whispered.

At least the man had managed to look guilty when Jun shut the door for him. It may not have been his fault, but it was still a crushing blow. Jun didn't wait for the taxi to drive out of sight before turning on his heel and quickly walking away.

 

 

"Welcome home!" 

Jun sighed at the sound of Nino's voice from the kitchen. He knew he shouldn't have trusted the man would actually stay out all night.

"I'm home," he called back as he slipped out of his shoes. 

Although Jun often preferred company at times like these, rather than sitting alone with his own somber thoughts, Nino's company in particular was a sore spot tonight. After all, the only reason Nino was his roommate was because of Sho finding his soulmate. All Jun would be able to think about looking at him would be Sho having the exact opposite experience of what Jun had been through this evening.

And several other evenings before this one.

Maybe he'd pretend he forgot something, quickly make his way to his bedroom and then head back out again. Call up anyone and everyone with an invitation for drinks on him. People typically didn't refuse him if he pushed hard enough.

He was all prepared with his excuses until he set eyes on Nino, sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of wine in front of him.

"Thought you might be interested in dessert," Nino explained with a soft smirk, "And for the record, you can't text anything to Aiba-chan. He has a big mouth."

"You came home for me? That's almost touching," Jun replied.

Jun ran his fingers through his hair, as if he could brush off his disappointment along with the sculpting gel, and slumped into one of the kitchen chairs. Maybe it was childish to act as if the sight of Nino would make it hurt any worse. He'd brought cabernet sauvignon with him. Nino could stay.

"And you bought this? With your own money?" Jun asked, pulling the bottle toward himself.

"I'm thoughtful, not nice. I took it from Aiba-chan's place," Nino answered with a grin.

It took a few glasses before Jun felt comfortable discussing what had actually happened. Sure, he'd had relationships before, even when they had both understood it wouldn't last forever. But as he grew older, the harder it became to convince anyone it was worthwhile.

"It's not that I don't understand, because knowing there's someone out there I'm meant to be with, of course I want to find that person. But would it really hurt to spend a little time together if our hearts are in the right place?" Jun asked, sighing before he continued, "And could maybe, just once, the universe let me find out first? It's exhausting going through this again and again."

He appreciated the fact that Nino didn't argue the point, but instead gave a hum of understanding and began to refill Jun's glass. 

"So how exactly will you know? Because it seems like you've had a chance to touch, smell, hear all these people yourself too, so what's the deal?" Nino questioned.

Jun could feel the several glasses of wine in his cheeks, flushing hot as embarrassment bubbled up inside him. Of course it wasn't all that difficult for Nino to figure out if he gave it another thought. But it was one thing for Nino to know, and another for Jun to say it out loud.

Before he could gather the courage, he heard Nino's laughter, high and crisp and actually quite nice if it wasn't at his expense.

"You're _kidding_ me!"

Jun growled.

"Listen, Jun-pon, I'm not making fun of you. I'm just starting to see your predicament. Kind of hard to stop anyone from using their other senses before you get a chance to taste them," Nino expressed, completely unhelpfully in Jun's opinion.

But Jun knew Nino was right. He was never going to be able to get ahead of his dates. And so, bitterly, he was going to have to accept that it didn't matter whether he was the first to know or the last. A match wasn't a match, and he couldn't force anyone stick around when he'd be just as likely to make the call to walk away himself.

"So how do you? You know, taste them," Nino asked, his eyebrow raised and a twinkle in his eyes that Jun really hated in this moment.

"Oh shut up," he replied.

But he was laughing now, shoulders relaxing and tension easing as he tapped his fingers against his wine glass.

 

 

Jun didn't take days off, at least not if he could help it. He showed up to work early and left late nearly every day, and often went in on weekends depending on which appearances his clients were making. He took his job as a stylist seriously, and rarely called in sick or made excuses to play hooky.

But today was the exception, the one day a year that he lied about having a doctor's appointment in the morning in order to have an excuse to come in late. The one day a year he treated himself to a tiny act of rebellion for his own sake.

"Hate to interrupt your raid of fantasy island, but I need the television," Jun announced, careful not to step in front of the screen, but still aiming to be in Nino's line of vision.

"Hate to be a nuisance, but I haven't even slept yet. Been working on getting this together all night and I finally have a chance to finish off the twelve year old punk who said some real nasty shit about my mom," Nino replied.

He didn't spare Jun so much as a glance, clearly immersed in whatever was happening in the game. Jun had been patient about this. Although he'd been concerned about Nino's sleep patterns and lack of activity the first month or two of living together, Sho had explained that games were an important part of stress relief and connection for Nino. Jun had respected that, even recording some of the dramas he'd meant to watch live in order to give Nino a little more time for himself. 

But not today.

"Knowing your skill and dedication, Nino, the time will come again. So, sorry, but you're going to have to postpone the ass kicking," Jun spoke with more authority, daring to cross over Nino's body and grab for the remote.

That certainly got Nino's attention.

"Wait wait wait, J, seriously!" 

"No, Nino, seriously! I need to hook up my laptop to the television and I only have a few minutes to do it," Jun told him.

"If you are going to use your laptop, can't you just watch on the laptop for awhile? I'll get out of your way as soon as this is done," Nino promised.

If he was being honest, Jun knew that it was a decent compromise. If it were any other time, then he would give it serious consideration. But it was his apartment, his yearly ritual, and he wasn't going to bend to Nino's will anymore.

"I could, but I want the television and the show starts any minute."

"What show?" Nino asked.

Jun knew that answering wouldn't make Nino understand. It was the Oscars. Jun had always had an interest in Hollywood movies, and with as closely as he followed Hollywood news, it wasn't the same to read the blogs about who had won later in the evening. It was far more fun to livestream, and tweet about the red carpet fashions, and send messages to his LINE group about who was snubbed all in real time.

He was about to tell Nino that it didn't matter what it was, just that it was important to him, when he heard something muffled through the headset Nino was wearing.

"Just my roommate. He faked sick and now he's bugging me for the tv," Nino answered the person who'd spoken to him.

That was it.

"I don't pull rank on you often, but I'm doing it now. Get the hell off my television and out of my living room before I rip that console out of the wall!"

"Oh yeah? Well that console is currently using the HDMI cable, so if you want to plug that laptop in later..." Nino retorted.

Jun didn't hesitate, though instead of yanking cords, he took the more gentle approach of simply bending down and hitting the physical power button on the machine. An easy win.

Nino threw his headset aside and stood up quickly. Jun laughed at the way his roommate wobbled slightly, clearly having sat in the same position for too long. 

"You think you're tough? I'll murder you," Nino shouted, diving and wrapping his arms around Jun's lower legs. 

Jun could tell that Nino was attempting to knock him off balance, but it wasn't working out for him. The only problem was that Jun had left his laptop in the bedroom, and if he went now to retrieve it, Nino would probably just turn his console back on. There was no choice but to properly fight for what he wanted.

He dropped down to the ground and shoved Nino off him, straddling him once Nino was on his back.

"I don't have muscles, but I'm scrappy and I'll bite," Nino warned.

Jun tossed his head back in a loud laugh. Somehow it wasn't surprising that Nino would play dirty. But he was clearly in the position of power here, and he was done asking nicely for things himself.

"I'm not afraid of somebody who already admitted he needs a nap," Jun informed him, playfully reaching down to pat Nino's cheek.

He was amazed by how smooth Nino's cheek was, but more surprised with how Nino seemed to instantly freeze at the touch. Had he crossed a line? Maybe he shouldn't have taunted him that way, though Jun would argue Nino started it.

"I was just messing with you anyway," Nino gave in, closing his eyes and starting to wiggle, "You can get off now."

Jun frowned. Was it really that easy? One shove and Nino was done with demanding what he wanted? Wasn't very like him.

"Hey... I'm sorry," Jun apologized, starting to stand up. He offered Nino a hand, noticing the way his roommate's eyes seemed to dart around before he reluctantly took it.

"Yeah yeah, I'm not mad," Nino promised as he was helped up.

Jun was puzzled by the way Nino gently squeezed his hand before he let go.

"Just keep it down in here, will you?" Nino warned, "Some of us have to sleep and don't really care about the lesser, not Japanese Academy Awards."

"You should care, it's only the top honor in--HEY WAIT. Y-you knew!?" Jun sputtered.

"Of course I knew, you underlined it 3 times and circled it on the fridge calendar" Nino laughed, nodding his head toward the kitchen, "I just thought I could be done in time. Oh well, I lose."

Jun was amazed that Nino could be so understanding of situations, and yet so frustrating about them at the same time. Like he had the instructions to being a good roommate, but tap danced around them skillfully. Charmingly disturbing the peace.

"I don't like you," Jun said without weight.

"I know," Nino answered, "And you've got two minutes."

Jun quickly scrambled to retrieve his laptop, Nino's high-pitched cackle floating through the apartment behind him.

 

 

After a few more months of living together, Jun was getting pretty good at knowing how Nino operated. That he drank coffee when Jun brewed it, but had tea whenever Jun didn't. He spent his days off _not_ getting sleep and yet being incredibly immobile, but he was a hard worker when he did have his job to do. Nino tried not to show that he put in effort, but Jun arrived home before him more than once, and had even heard Nino answer his phone at three in the morning for a coworker's night shift crisis. Jun couldn't say he'd have handled that kind of phone call with as much grace, but Nino still often surprised him that way.

Like now, when Jun expected him to be wrapped up in one of his adventure quests, but instead found him hunched over the coffee table with another man his height. The two of them had barely any space between them, and were giggling like school children. It made something twist in Jun's gut, but he shook it off. Probably just his control issues, not used to a guest he hadn't invited being in his home.

He didn't announce himself at first, watching as the two of them wrestled over some colored pencils. Nino was practically glowing, looking more at ease with this person that Jun had seen him with anyone. Had Nino conveniently forgotten to mention to Jun that he, maybe, had... you know. Found that someone?

"Are you going to keep standing there like a creep, or are you going to say hi to my friend?" Nino asked without even turning to look at him.

Jun hoped he didn't look as embarrassed as he felt when he bowed slightly.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Matsumoto Jun."

"Hi Matsumoto Jun," the man spoke softly, nodding his head in greeting.

"He's Ohno Satoshi," Nino added for him, laughing again and waving Jun over, "And we've been waiting for you actually."

Jun wasn't sure if he should be honored or terrified that whatever they were up to had something to do with him. He made his way to the living room slowly, glancing over the shoulders of the two men once he reached them. On a piece of paper were doodles of varying quality. Jun was impressed with the rocket ship and alien, and a little less impressed with what looked like a blob wearing a cowboy hat beside it.

"Uh... nice artwork?" he offered with a raised eyebrow.

Nino shook his head, then pat the floor beside him.

"It is, but this is about your talent, not ours," Nino began to explain. 

Jun took him at his word, lowering himself to the floor and watching with interest as Nino shuffled some papers around. After finding whatever he was looking for, he revealed it to Jun with a cheerful 'tada!'.

On the loose leaf paper was what clearly looked like a ballerina outfit, drawn with care. A fluffy red tutu was attached to a polka-dot leotard, and what appeared like a cape split in two was billowing out the back. It was _adorable_ , but Jun had absolutely no idea what it meant.

"Does it look like a ladybug?" Ohno asked, reaching out his long elegant finger and tapping on the drawing in question.

"Huh?" Jun responded in surprise, then glanced back down, "Uh... actually it does."

"I told you it did! I don't know why you never trust me," Nino complained at Ohno, then turned his attention back to Jun, "This is why we need you."

"To tell you what you already knew?" Jun asked with a chuckle.

"No, to make it for us! Well, not for us. For Kimiko-chan," Nino answered, already clasping his hands together and bowing his head.

"My daughter," Ohno clarified for him, "It's her first ballet recital, and there's no set costumes. She wants to be a ladybug, so."

Jun honestly didn't need to hear anything else. He'd only just met this Ohno Satoshi, but picturing a baby girl with his squishy cheeks, dancing up on stage as a ladybug? Jun's heart was completely melted.

"I told him you would charge too much, but Kimiko-chan would be the best ladybug anybody's ever seen. You don't do anything half-assed," Nino added, looking at Jun almost proudly.

Jun was getting a little tired of Nino knowing exactly how to make him blush, while somehow managing to get a jab in at him as well. He playfully smacked Nino upside the head before addressing Ohno directly.

"Of course I'll do my best, and I won't charge you either," he promised, "But I do still have work so... when would you need it?"

It didn't take long before Jun had ironed out all the details with his new acquaintance, and had even informed Ohno that he'd want to come to the performance if at all possible. It had been a long time since he'd had a project like this, and it actually excited him to think about getting back in front of a sewing machine.

"I know you can be a perfectionist, so don't work yourself to death over this, ok?" Nino spoke to him once Ohno had gone, lightly squeezing Jun's shoulder.

"You're welcome," Jun responded sarcastically, but pulled Nino in for a hug before the man could try and make an escape.

"And thank you, Nino. I'm going to enjoy this."

He was shocked when Nino wrapped his arms around Jun tightly in return. He was so warm, face buried in Jun's chest.

"Yeah. But I knew Oh-chan and his daughter first, so they still have to like me best," he spoke, voice muffled into Jun's shirt. Jun laughed and held him a little tighter.

"We'll see about that."

 

 

The atmosphere in the apartment was strange, in Jun's opinion. Sometimes it was like coming home to his best friend. Nino would act like he deserved a reward for remembering to water the plants, jokingly asking for a discounted rent. Jun would set him straight, but not without cooking him dinner and listening to Nino talk about his day. Other times his stress was high and his patience thin, and something Nino had done or not done would irritate him more than was reasonable. Or it was perfectly reasonable to be upset, but Nino still didn't respect Jun's feelings on the matter.

It was one of those other times.

"Matsujun, please calm down! He's sorry, he was just trying to save money. He didn't know you have a set temperature for the summer," Aiba pleaded with him. 

Jun hated that one of their friends was in the crossfire, but Nino _did_ know that Jun liked the apartment cool in the summer. Nino was choosing to do what he always did and deciding that he knew better than Jun did about something.

"It's going to take forever to get the temperature back down with how hot it is out there and he knows it! I can't sleep without a blanket, and now I'm going to have to run a noisy fan or I'll be tossing and turning all night," Jun let out his frustration, picking up a pillow from the sofa and chucking it at Nino's head.

"Aiba-chan, did you see that!? He nearly took my head off!"

"Nino, stop antagonizing him! If you two can't play nice, I'm going to have to put you in time out," Aiba warned, holding out an arm toward each of them and alternating his puppy dog look from one to the other.

"I let him do whatever he wants and this is how he repays me. Not letting me have the one thing I asked for," Jun accused, only barely holding himself back from picking up another pillow.

"One thing? You have like eighty things, J, it's a wonder I remember any of them," Nino argued.

Jun was sure he scared Aiba with the banshee-like scream that left him at Nino's comment, and although he knew he could take on Aiba and Nino both if he wanted, he really didn't have the energy anymore. It felt good enough to let that anger out vocally, and so he let his shoulders drop in defeat.

"You're right. I'm an uptight asshole who has to have things his way. Sorry that Sho-san didn't mention it six months ago or you could have avoided this suffering," Jun apologized sarcastically.

What happened next should have sent him through the roof, but there was something about Nino that made the impossible possible. When all Jun wanted to do was kick his ass, that look on Nino's face made Jun cave.

"Don't say those things about Matsumoto Jun," Nino warned him, as if Jun had suddenly brought someone else into the fight, "It's not his fault he keeps giving me chances and I'm a bit of a dick."

Aiba lowered his arms, looking a bit baffled at what was playing out in front of him. Jun was sympathetic to him, really. He never knew what was going on here either.

"You really are," Jun informed him, "and I'm still mad. But I'm just... going to go be mad somewhere else."

Nino looked apologetic as he placed the missing pillow back on the sofa, giving it a pat as if he'd wronged it as well. Jun would want to talk to Nino about this later, about how his wishes weren't arbitrary, and if Nino really had a problem with some of them, they could try and hash it out. But Aiba didn't deserve to sit through that kind of conversation, and it was too damn hot in here!

"I'll move out in the morning," Nino joked.

Six months ago Jun may have found that amusing, but right now it only made him feel worse. Sometimes it was great having Nino around, other times it could kind of suck. Much like many other important things in his life, however, Jun found that the work required was... worth it.

He waved Nino's comment off, wished Aiba a good night, and knew he'd pretend to have forgotten all about this fight tomorrow.

 

 

It had been a long time since Jun had felt this exhausted, weary in his very bones. He'd had three separate television appearances for his clients today and two of them had required wardrobe changes at the last moment. He'd been prepared for it, of course, but the chaotic energy of everyone involved was enough to take it out of him. Sometimes personalities were more physically challenging than problems.

He didn't bother trying to be quiet when he got home, knowing that with a day off tomorrow, Nino would probably still be up gaming. 

"Guess who decided that they couldn't wear pink if Kyary Pamyu Pamyu was also in pink," Jun announced with a chuckle, but instead of Nino's guesses, he was met with total silence.

Odd. Nino loved to get involved with Jun's work stories. So either he wasn't at home - unlikely - or he was in his bedroom.

Or, as Jun discovered the next moment, he had fallen asleep on the living room floor.

"Ah, look who finally lost to his body's needs," Jun whispered to himself, tip-toeing closer to where Nino was lying.

It was one of the cutest things he'd ever seen. Nino's hair stuck out in odd directions, his sleeves were pulled all the way over his hands, and his lips were slightly parted to let air escape. If it were Jun, he'd blame allergies, but Nino didn't have that misfortune. So if his nose was stuffy? Probably a cold.

Which explained why he hadn't made it through his usual session, and instead had passed out right where he was. Jun smiled and tried to think about the best course of action now.

Nino didn't weigh that much. Jun could probably pick him up and carry him to bed, but he was fairly certain that would be enough to wake the man up. Jun also knew that Nino had some trouble with his back, and the last thing he needed was to wake up with a sore neck as well.

"All right, stay there," Jun ordered him with a soft laugh.

He mumbled an apology for invading Nino's privacy as he stepped into the man's bedroom, only in there long enough to retrieve a pillow. When he returned to the living room, he very carefully lifted Nino up enough to slide the pillow beneath his head. Nino stirred slightly, but didn't seem to wake. Good.

"Such a pain," Jun pretended to whine, but he was all smiles as he draped the throw blanket from the sofa over Nino's sleeping form.

He felt a little guilty about watching Nino awhile longer, but Jun couldn't help himself. There was a feeling he had in this moment, in the early hours with Nino, that he didn't really want to let go. He was finally ready to make for his own room when he noticed a half-empty beer bottle on the coffee table.

"Well, for all my hard work," Jun joked as he lifted it toward his lips.

"Don't," Nino suddenly spoke up.

Jun jolted in surprise, moving enough to splash some of the beer in his face. For crying out loud! Nino had scared the shit out of him. Since when had he been awake?

"What the hell, Kaz?" he asked, heart still pounding as he wiped his nose with his sleeve.

"Indirect kiss," Nino answered groggily.

Jun would have scolded him for such a weird and childish answer, but Nino was already turning over and snuggling back up beneath the blanket Jun had provided. Maybe he hadn't even realized he'd said anything. Talking in his sleep. 

Jun shook his head and decided he didn't need the help of alcohol to get some rest tonight anyway. He gave Nino's foot a little squeeze before he stood up, placed the beer back on the table, and stretched his body out through a yawn.

"Goodnight."

 

 

Maybe it was a cliche climax for a drama, but Jun didn't care. His eyes watered slightly as the couple on screen were able to touch hands for the first time. The music swelled, filling the apartment with a triumphant tune of love. Soulmates confirmed.

It was cheesy, but something about romantic endings brought Jun comfort. Maybe it wouldn't happen just like this, with a hopeful piano melody and a sunset, but Jun still felt he would have his moment. Someday.

And the acting wasn't half bad either. 

"Again with the soulmates," Nino piped up from his side of the sofa, shaking his head from side to side.

"Don't knock it until you've tried it," Jun said.

"There's something I could say to you, but I don't want to hurt you," Nino replied with what Jun could only describe as a moody chuckle, "Besides, I'm not really sure I believe in soulmates."

Jun felt his jaw drop, slowly turning his head to stare at Nino in awe. He didn't _believe_ in soulmates? It wasn't like monsters or ghosts or magic, it was a thing that happened to people. Every day, in fact! Not to Jun, apparently, but to plenty of people who could describe the moment they knew about their soulmate in enough detail to make Jun incredibly jealous.

Not knowing what to say, Jun settled for lightly punching Nino's thigh beneath their shared blanket.

"Ow! Don't attack me," Nino warned, punching Jun right back, "I don't mean I don't believe in it at all. I mean I don't believe it's as important as people act like it is."

Although Jun couldn't say he saw the difference in not believing in soulmates and not believing they were important, at least Jun was willing to hear Nino out. It didn't seem like he was saying this just to get a rise out of Jun. Not this time.

"Okay, so... why not?" Jun asked, gesturing for Nino to continue.

"There are cases of soulmates getting divorced, right? And platonic soulmate relationships as well," Nino stated, lifting the blanket a little closer to his chin.

"There are," Jun agreed, "Though I'm not sure what point you're trying to make?"

"My point, I guess, is that like anything else in life it's a choice. It's fate to meet them, but it's a choice to stay with them. You could always be with someone else, or... be with your soulmate and be miserable for one reason or another. In the end you still have control over your own intimate decisions," Nino expressed.

Jun supposed that he wasn't wrong about that. Or, at the very least, it was a practical way of looking at relationships. A soulmate wasn't a guarantee, it was merely a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Not everyone was going to make the most of it, and it was probably more than possible to love without that connection.

But.

"I think, for me, if it's not that someone... I'm not saying I couldn't do it. I could! But, there would always be that small piece of me that wouldn't be satisfied," Jun explained, giving a helpless shrug of his shoulders as he added, "Maybe I'm a foolish romantic. I'll admit it."

Maybe Nino had examples, but Jun had examples too. His grandparents, who seemed more in love every time he visited them as a kid. Sho, only having just met his soulmate this year, and smiling brighter and glowing more than Jun had ever seen him. 

"That's depressing," Nino teased him.

But Jun was getting better and better at reading Nino's face. And something wasn't quite right in how Nino looked away, chewing at his lower lip.

"I never asked you," Jun suddenly remembered, "How it is you'll know. If I had to guess... with how observant you always are, love at first sight?"

Nino snorted, then shook his head.

"Gross," he responded, "And anyway it's none of your business."

"Oh, that's how it's gonna be? I tell you everything and you tell me nothing?" Jun whined, starting to tug the blanket more his own way.

"You offered up that information yourself! I'm perfectly fine not going out looking for fate. I'll stay right here with you and your green smoothies and weepy dramas and big eyebrows," Nino declared.

Jun found that he didn't mind that idea so much, not if they could have more shared moments like this one. He grinned before responding, "You like these eyebrows."

"I like these caterpillars," Nino agreed, reaching forward to trace them with his fingers.

Jun shook him off with a laugh.

"Now who's gross!!"

 

 

Jun wouldn't pretend he'd never had a setback at work before. Long hours, multiple clients, runway shows and magazine editorials to keep up with, all those things and more played a part in him burning out every so often. Sometimes Jun looked back at decisions he'd made for this actress or that singer and could only cringe. But he was proud to say that while clients changed direction and moved on plenty of times in the past, he'd never been outright fired for poor performance before.

He'd come uncomfortably close today.

In his defense, if he had it all to do over, he'd put his client in the outfit again. It worked on her, even if a bit avant-garde, and not everyone with a blog _truly_ understood fashion. But, to Jun's dismay, the rise of instagram influencers couldn't be ignored - and a particularly popular one had chosen to outright mock his client in a post. Followers had joined in the ridicule, leaving his client miserable and, understandably, pissed off. 

All he wanted now was a long, hot shower and a beer. Maybe he'd even crawl into bed early with a book and try not to let visions of negative online comments swim around in his head.

"Uh oh, man on a warpath," Nino commented as they met in the genkan. 

Jun was really not in the mood.

"Listen, seeing as you look like someone kicked your puppy, I'd really like to get out ahead of a problem," Nino continued, looking sheepish as he continued, "I thought I'd be a good guy and order dinner for us both. And the delivery guy kinda... brought the wrong sauce for your meal."

It wasn't a big deal. Somewhere, deep down inside, Jun knew it really wasn't anything to fly off the handle about - and yet. With how he was feeling, it was just one more crap thing to add onto a growing pile of misery and he didn't want to hear it.

"Oh, sure, he just happened to bring the wrong thing by mistake," Jun answered in a huff, "And you didn't deliberately order the wrong sauce to rile me up. You would _never_."

He expected one of those self-satisfied smirks from Nino, but instead his roommate looked genuinely flustered. Which somehow only pissed Jun off more.

"It wasn't like--"

"I don't really care what it was like, Nino, I really don't want to deal with your shit right now," he snapped. Rather than carefully placing his jacket on the hook, Jun tossed it angrily to the ground.

"You know you're getting like this about sauce, right?" Nino poked at him, "I didn't have to order you food in the first place. Maybe you should be grateful? Instead of throwing a temper tantrum?"

"And maybe you should realize that you don't have to do anything for me at all, because I didn't ask for you to be here and sometimes I really wish you weren't," Jun answered sharply.

He truly regretted saying it the moment it left his lips. If anything, Jun was more thankful everyday that he had Nino in his life. But in his frustration he was less than kind, and rather than try and make up for it, he'd rather hide from his words. He was well aware of the fact that the usually quick-tongued Nino was silent as Jun fled, bypassing the kitchen and living room to head straight for the bathroom and that hot shower. 

He was just going to have to erase that moment for now, let it wash away, and hope he could make up for it somehow in the morning.

 

 

Finding the right moment to apologize, however, was more difficult than Jun had been expecting. Jun had no idea that Nino and Sho had made plans until he found the note on the kitchen counter saying Nino would be out with him. He'd thought about texting Nino, but it felt too impersonal for an apology. So instead, Jun went out for groceries, picked out something nice to cook and had it prepared for when Nino returned.

But Nino hadn't come back alone either.

"And then her mother said that she'd never met someone with a bigger appetite than her father," Sho finished telling a story about meeting his girlfriend's parents. 

It was great to be catching up with him, truly, and Jun wanted to know all about Naoko and her family. But the anxiety he'd been feeling all day was eating him up inside, and Nino had barely looked his way.

"Sho-chan, I forgot I had something of yours to return. J, would you excuse us for a moment?" Nino said, standing up and motioning for Sho to follow him.

"Yeah, sure, I'll just... figure out something for dessert. I know Sho-san's got a sweet tooth, so," Jun responded awkwardly.

But Nino didn't seem to care, abruptly leaving the table and taking a puzzled Sho with him.

Jun debated whether or not he should try and get an idea of what was going on. Deep down he knew that the right thing to do was to stay in the kitchen, rummage through the fridge in search of leftover cheesecake or some fruit as he said he'd do. But another, weaker part of him said that he'd messed up in a big way, and he'd never know how big unless he made a move.

He was careful and quiet as he traveled across the apartment, hoping he wouldn't give himself away with something silly like a sneeze or his shadow against the wall. He reached hearing distance of Nino's room in time to instantly understand that following his impulse had been a bad idea.

"I'm going to leave early. It was insane of either of us to think I could impose on him for a year, even if he had a spare room."

Jun felt his heart drop to his stomach. He'd known that Nino leaving was an eventuality, but at some point he'd started ignoring that reality. Being able to come home to someone was too good a feeling, and conveniently forgetting that one day it would be over was better for his peace of mind. Or had been, until now.

"You can hate me for saying this if you want, Nino, but you know you're just running scared," Sho replied. 

Jun dared to lean closer to the door, desperate to hear where this was going.

"Yeah, maybe, but my other option is telling him what I knew the moment he touched me," Nino admitted, "And maybe it's better he never finds that out."

"Why don't you give him a chance to figure out how he feels on his own, instead of deciding for him?" Sho argued.

There was no need for Nino to tell him anything at all, because as far as Jun was concerned, he already had. There was only one reason Nino would back away from him now. Clearly, Nino knew his soulmate by touch, and Jun hadn't passed the test.

For _months_ now, Nino would have known. But it was only recently that Jun had... Jun had been hoping. Nino was a smart man. He must have seen it, and this was how he was responding. By wishing him goodbye and good luck, like everyone else.

Jun gave himself a moment to swallow the lump in his throat, then knocked.

"Don't think you can leave me out here with the dishes, you jerks," he called, praying that his voice wouldn't break, "If you're not out in five, I'm coming in!"

"If we're not out in five, you'll start on them anyway!" Nino called back.

Jun left his hand against the door, closing his eyes and focusing on his breathing. In and out. Everything would be fine. It wasn't the end of their friendship. Nino would move on, and Jun would meet other people, and eventually. Well, eventually there'd be someone. 

 

 

Only, Jun was tired of waiting for forever. It was as Nino had said once - soulmates weren't a guarantee of anything. Maybe he would never meet his, or, would meet them one day and find out it was a platonic match all along. While he'd never be ungrateful for that outcome, would be satisfied knowing he had a meant-to-be friendship for life, he'd also never be able to stop thinking about the other people who had come and gone in his life. The ones he could have made memories with, who filled his heart with joy. If he was wrong, he could cross that bridge when he came to it.

Right now it was about making a choice, and seeing Nino in his favorite faded yellow t-shirt, slowing packing away every piece of evidence he'd ever been in Jun's life, that was all the motivation Jun needed to take back control.

"Do you actually want to move out? Because if there's one thing I've learned about you, it's that you don't like anything that's a hassle," Jun spoke up.

He tried to calm the nerves rushing through him as Nino turned around. 

"Mn, but I hate paying for things more. So better to put the stuff in boxes myself," Nino answered with a soft chuckle.

"Sure, but that's not what I asked you," Jun continued, stepping away from the door frame and closer to Nino, "I asked if you want to move out."

He could see that Nino was at war with himself. That if he didn't feel he had a reason to go, maybe he _would_ want to stay. Jun was sorry that he'd given Nino the idea that he couldn't handle the information Nino was keeping to himself.

"What if I said that I wanted you to stay? That I'm sorry I ever yelled at you about not using a coaster? That it really _was_ an accident when I threw out those coupons you were hoarding? That I was drunk when I signed your forehead with a sharpie?" Jun offered him, gently wrapping his hand around Nino's wrist.

"It's tempting, very tempting, but I'm sure I've already overstayed my welcome," Nino replied with a forced smile.

"If you really believe that, then you can walk out the door, but not before I kiss you."

" _What_ ," Nino hissed in surprise, taking a step backward.

"After all the conversations we've had about this, Kaz, please. You know how much it would mean to me," Jun begged.

"No, I'm... Jun? Are you serious?"

"I wouldn't joke about this, and I know you know that. I don't want to be told, I want to _know_. I want to feel for myself if all of this has really been nothing," Jun confessed.

Nino looked shaken, but after a moment of contemplation, slowly nodded his head in permission. Jun didn't hesitate, not wanting to leave a window for Nino to change his mind. Keeping hold of Nino's wrist in one hand, he used the other to gently cup Nino's face before leaning in and capturing Nino's lips with his own.

He braced himself for the bittersweet taste of an uncertain future, but it didn't seem to come. Instead his body felt fuzzy, and Nino's lips soft and sweet, better than he'd imagined. Jun moaned softly as warmth spread from the top of his head down to the tips of his toes, a wave of contentment flowing through him like he'd never experienced before. 

He really should have done this sooner. As Nino relaxed in his hold and began to press back, Jun tried not to let his excitement end a good thing too soon. He knew. And because he knew, he eagerly nipped at Nino's bottom lip, encouraging him to open further and allow him a better taste.

When they pulled apart, Jun left another kiss, then another against Nino's lips, happily rubbing their noses together. 

"Now you really need to explain to me why you're leaving," Jun spoke between them, dropping Nino's wrist and taking his hand instead.

"I thought you'd be upset that it was me. This roommate you got stuck with, who's not anything special and annoyed you..."

"I may have been stuck with you at first, and you annoy me all the time, but that doesn't mean you aren't special to me," Jun told him, tracing the line of Nino's jaw with the back of his hand.

"You aren't just saying that?"

"No way! I was already in love with you, I just thought I'd have to convince you that was enough," Jun responded with a sigh of relief.

"Well, I guess I better stay then. If you love me so much," Nino said decidedly. 

"And?" Jun encouraged, not about to let Nino off the hook.

"I love you too," Nino added, ears turning pink as he tried to pull away from Jun's grasp. Jun laughed and shook his head, using their joined hands to tug Nino in again.

"One more thing," Jun whispered.

Nino licked his lips, eyes locked on Jun's mouth. Jun let him think another kiss was coming... but.

"Don't think I haven't realized this meant you were going to let me live my life without a soulmate," Jun pointed out, yanking on Nino's ear, "You're cooking tonight."

He listened to Nino's protests about simply giving Jun time, and traditional dating, and being hungry for other things as Jun began helping him unpack. No matter how much he complained, Jun wasn't going to budge. Nino owed him one.

Luckily, there'd be plenty of time for Nino to make it up to him.


End file.
